The Busy Body

Time Keeps on Slipping...

2010-09-22T15:38:00.000-07:00

Remember that song? Am I showing my age? Well, really that song was before my time, but who's counting, right?

It's been such a long time since I updated my blog. Life has been crazy busy with the start of my photography business in January, the loss of my Mom in February, Birthdays, Holidays, School, Three Kids, Photography-Photography and Editing, Life, Situations, Chaos, Messes, You know how it goes. I could go on.

I just had to write, say hello and tell you that I'm still alive. Doing well, actually.

So, how are you??

Words Escape me...

2010-06-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

So I show you pictures.... Lots of pictures...

Summer is here!

2010-06-07T13:53:00.000-07:00

I'm glad to report that I have all three of the kids home with me on a daily basis. No car pool lines. No lunches to be made. No clothes to iron and wash! Life is just fun and full of summer time thrills. We have so much planned and so little time. August will be here before we know it and I dread sending my baby boy to Kindergarten this year. Yes, Josh will be going to school. I'm already praying for his teacher. That's another post.

The Hat Box

2010-05-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

The day my Mom passed away she brought over a hat box to give me. She told me the history of how the hat box belonged to my Great-Grandmother, Menga. She described the story of how the hat box made the journey from Switzerland to New York when Menga moved from Switzerland to the United States. The hat box is filled with hats that my Grandmother wore and back in the day the hats were expensive, well to do, hats. She took the boat to the United States and on that journey she brought her son (my grandfather) and her husband (my great grandfather). Her husband, my great grandfather, came down with typhoid fever on the boat and died before they ever made it to the United States. Menga and her son both survived and went onto live long happy lives in the U.S. The hat box has a great family history and my Mom thought to bring it over so I could use the hat box for my photography business. Who would have guessed that minutes after we were admiring the hat box and it's contents that my Mom would be making her journey to heaven to see our family that owned that hat box?

The hat box has been in my dining room because I had left it in the same spot we had been looking at it and the hats. I finally mustered the courage to use the hat box in the way my Mom wanted me to use it. Sarah was my model and although she wasn't fully participating in the way I would have imagined her to particate I did get some shots of her with the hat box. My Mom loved antiques and old things so I processed the images the way that she would have enjoyed them. This picture is a tribute to my Mom and my Great Grandmother. May they rest in peace!

You can view more of the pictures on my Facebook.

How am I doing?

2010-05-13T09:01:00.000-07:00

This seems to be the big question. How are you doing?

My answer is good. I'm doing okay. I'm managing. Life has been tough since I lost my Mom and I won't lie and say it's been easy. There have been times when the bed has been my salvation and I don't want to get out of it. There have been times when I've cried so much that I don't want to cry anymore. I've been to the deepest depths of grief. I haven't ever experienced this type of pain before. Oh, I knew it would be hard to lose a parent, but never like this. The magnitude of the loss has been tremendous. My life has forever been changed and I'm a new person today because I have to go forward without a very important part of myself. Somehow life does manage to move forward and while at times it's hard to pick myself up off the floor and see past the bad times, it's nice to enjoy the good times.

My husband has been my rock. He has let me grieve and move forward in my own time and own way. He's been there to support me. He's held me up when I literally could not stand by myself. His shoulder has been wet for months with the tears that I've poured onto them. He's just been my friend and that's what has meant so much to me. We've grown closer in the midst of the sadness and that has felt good to me.

The kids are great! They ask a lot about death and have grown to understand more about the bible and God. We laugh a lot about the good times we had with their Adda and we enjoy telling stories about her to one another. Jacob, especially, misses her and often we'll sit and listen to her music together remembering all the fun we had with her. He's gotten quite good at air guitar, actually.

My photography business is really taking off and I've pushed myself to move forward with that. I know that my Mom would be so proud of me. She was my #1 fan and loved looking at my pictures. She was such a creative person and I think we share that. I love to get creative with my photography and it feels good to have that for myself outside of being a mother. My clients have been wonderful too and that helps to push me forward into doing something I'm passionate about and love to do. It's been a creative road for me to release some energy. Love it!

Time will tell how my heart heals. Right now I feel most days that it's broken into a million pieces. I've been every aspect of the normal grieving curves, sad-mad-okay-not okay-crying-screaming-depressed-you get the picture. I just hope that eventually I will come to a place where it feels okay. Right now I'm making the motions and moving forward, but I can't say it feels okay to me. I sure miss her and I sure wish she was here. Realizing that she's not coming back in this life is a hard pill to swollow.

For now my world revolves around my family. My kids are the most important thing to me. They are my world. My husband is my best friend and so much more. I focuse on them and that, my friends, feels GOOD! Very very good!

Spring

2010-03-31T19:13:00.000-07:00

...... is a beautiful thing!

Adda's 59th Birthday

2010-03-31T19:09:00.000-07:00

Friday, March 26th was Adda's 59th Birthday. We walked over to a pasture behind our neighborhood and released a bouquet of balloons for her. The kids watched as they drifted into the heavens and we all watched as they magically disappeared into the hands of Adda. We said a prayer for her and we remembered the good times. Oh, how we miss her! We celebrate the memories and the good times now. That's all we have and all we cling to. She was my best friend. She was the best Adda. We all miss her greatly. I'm so glad we celebrated her on her birthday. I will celebrate it every year that I'm able until the day that I meet her again in heaven.

My Beautiful Sarah

2010-03-31T19:06:00.001-07:00

Thank God for my blessings. The many blessings in my life are what keep me going. This is just one of the blessings in my life. Isn't she gorgeous? I think so, but I'm her Mom. :o)

February 12, 2010-My Mom's Death.

2010-03-12T11:47:00.000-08:00

February 12, 2010. The day my life changed forever.

Friday morning. 8:30 am.
My Mom called that morning to let me know she was up and was getting ready to come over. She told me that she was going to get changed, brush her teeth and call her friend Kathy, who she hadn't talked to in a couple days, before she left the house. She said she'd call me in Pearland Parkway, just like she always did as she exited the Beltway so the kids could stand outside and watch for her car.

Friday morning. 9:45 am.
My Mom called and I almost missed her call. She was on Pearland Parkway and I picked up the phone just as she was leaving the front of a message on the answering machine. I sent Joshua outside to the sidewalk where he waited and greeted Adda upon her arrival.

Friday morning. 10:00-11:00 am.
My Mom had brought over a hat box that belonged to my Grandma Nufer with about 20 vintage hats and 3 vintage dresses in it. She showed me the box, the hats and the dresses and said they'd be perfect for my photography. She was really excited to give me the hat box that morning. She also had an antique fish holder that she had bought at an antique stores years before that she wanted Kevin to have. So, we looked over the hats, played with them on Sarah's head and laughed and joked around. We were so happy! It truly was a perfect morning for us. Eventually I went and took a quick shower, changed and came out to see Adda, Josh and Sarah sitting on the sofa together in the living room. They were all three having fun together. Again, so happy! I just remember sitting down in the love seat for a minute and watching them all sitting there. Sarah was on the left side of her and Joshua on the right side. Adda was scratching Joshua's back and rubbing his hair and she told me "He loves to have his back scratched like this". I told her that I knew and we just smiled at him. Sarah had two baby dolls and she was showing Adda her babies. She kept saying "Baby! Baby! Baby!"! Adda replied back several times "I love your babies!". We talked about Survivor and how we would watch it later no DVR together. We talked about the other shows we both watched and compared notes. We talked for a moment and then both agreed it was time for lunch. So, we got up, loaded the kids in the van and headed off to lunch.

Friday morning. 11:15 am.
We were headed to Kelley's Family Restaraunt for lunch and we left a little early because Jacob's Valentine's Party was at 1 pm. We both wanted to go to his party and celebrate with him. As we approached the stop sign at the end of my street my Mom noticed a garage sale sign. She said that we should stop and take a look. So, I drove up one street and took a left. As we pulled up at the garage sale we both noticed it was a garage sale with all baby and kid things. My Mom said "Why don't you just get out and look. I see a lot of pink clothes for Sarah". So, I said okay and I unbuckled myself. As I was getting out of the van she said jokingly "Are you sure you don't want to take Joshua with you?" as she laughed. I told her "No, that's okay!" and jokingly laughed back with her. I shut the door and headed up to the garage sale.

There were two ladies hosting the garage sale and immediately as I walked up they asked me if I was looking for something. I told them that I was looking for 18-24 month girl clothes. They both started filling a box for me and within two minutes I was paying them for the clothes and on my way back to the van. It was a quick trip!

I lifted the back door to the van and put the box into the rear end. I even said "Sarah made out like a bandit" as I shut the back door. I went around to the driver's side and opened the door. I noticed my Mom was leaning into the console of my van and appeared to be asleep. Her hair was down that day and sort of hanging in her face and to the side. I said to her "Wake up!". She never moved so I looked back at the kids at that point and noticed Joshua's eyes were filled with tears. I then sort of nudged her and said "Wake up, Mama!". I could feel her dead weight against my hand so I thrust both hands into her shoulder and said "OMG, Mama, Wake up!". At that point I started yelling. "Please, Help me! My Mom is unresponsive and she has heart problems". I ran around the back of the van and the two women hosting the garage sale were already at her door opening it. The younger of the two women pushed her up into her seat and I immediately saw her face was blue/grey. Her mouth was gaping open and she had no muscle control in her face. My heart immediately sank into my chest, I fell to the ground and I just kept yelling "Mama!".

I asked several times if she had a pulse and for someone to call 911. About this time people just starting coming from everywhere. Neighbors from houses that I'd never seen before. It was all confusion and chaos. All of a sudden my neighbor from across the street came running up and said "That's my neighbor! And that's her Mom! I'm a nurse!". It was Angie, my sweet neighbor across the street, that is indeed a nurse. She immediately checked my Mom and said "She doesn't have a pulse, we need to start CPR!". She pulled my Mom from the van, someone came with a huge bedspread and laid it on the grass and she started CPR on my Mom. I was in the grass, up on my feet, back in the grass. I was extremely scared, distraught and confused. In my heart I knew she was gone. I had primal screams coming from deep within my soul that I just let out. Strangers were hugging me. The kids were in the van and a neighbor had gotten in with them keeping them occupied. I just remember looking up at Sarah at one point in her car seat and she was smiling the biggest grin. They really were clueless as to what was going on. Joshua later recollected that Adda just went to sleep in the van.

There were several things I won't forget. Phone calls being made on my behalf by strangers. Me being handed the phone to 911 and me tossing it into the grass so I could scream my Mom's name into the sky as I threw my head back and yelled "NO!". I was cold. So cold. Shaking cold. Angie on my Mom pounding her chest. My Mom's face in the van. My Mom's shoes flying off of her feet as she was pulled from the van. The intense pain I felt during everything. Every single bit of it. Pain and Loss.

Eventually the EMS showed up and they started working on my Mom in the yard. They told me that she still continued to not have a pulse at that point, but their machines were picking up "heart activity". They performed CPR on her in the yard for a very long time. They were very conscience of me and would pull the comforter up around her so I couldn't directly see her.

Finally, the moved her into the ambulance where they continued to work on her. I was sitting in the van watching the ambulance sway from side to side. My mind just envisioned them in the yard performing CPR on top of her. I could tell and see what they were doing with her even without me visually seeing it. As I sat I had police detectives, EMS, even a preacher standing there asking me questions and talking to me. The kids were taken by a neighbor into their house to keep them warm. Kevin was called and he showed up soon after they loaded her in the ambulance. My Dad was on his way from work.

The EMS finally left and we followed the ambulance to the hospital. We went into the ER and were taken immediately into a "family room". I already knew in my heart she was gone at that point and we just sat and waited. Two female doctors finally came into the room and you could immediately tell she was gone. I knew before the words came from her mouth that she was gone. I put my eyes into my hands and slumped over in tears. I cried into Kevin's chest and just cried some more. Tears. Never so many tears. My pain was immeasurable. My Mom, My Best Friend, My Children's Adda, was gone. The words "I'm so sorry" just didn't seem like enough. I was swallowed with grief and enraptured in immense pain that I'd never felt before this day.

We sat for a long time and my Dad wasn't at the hospital yet. It finally came back to me that he was told to come to my house by one of the neighbors at the scene. He doesn't have a cell phone so we couldn't call him. We told the hospital staff that we had to go to my house and get my Dad before we went into to say our good byes. We drove home and there he was sitting in his car (parked behind her car) in the front of my house. He immediately got out of his car and started walking toward our truck. I came around the side and I told him that he needed to sit down. He knew at that point she was gone and collapsed into his car. He crumbled. We held one another and cried. That, too, was extremely painful to deal with. Telling my Dad that she was gone.

We all drove back to the hospital together where I relived the whole thing. I filled him in on everything that took place that morning. He was in shock, just as I was. There were lots of tears. and emotions.

We went into the hospital and were directed to ER room #26. The room was dark and there was a white curtain in front of the door that we had to walk around. As I walked around the curtain there she was. Peaceful. Calm. Tranquil. She actually looked really beautiful laying there. I started talking. I talked and talked and talked. I told her so many things. I held her hand. I touched her face. I kissed her head. I played with her hair. I just loved her. I tried to soak in everything I could in those last moments together. I smelled her perfume. I looked at her tattoos again. I touched her. Everything about those last moments felt so final. My Dad and Kevin were in the room with me and we all took our time in telling her good bye.

We finally left the hospital. We had a red specimen bag filled with her belongings and that was it. I kept telling Kevin that I couldn't leave. I wanted to take her with me. It was the hardest thing to physically walk out of there without my Mom. The reality of everything felt humongous on my shoulders. Here I was walking out with my Dad and Kevin, but without my Mom. Forever. My best friend was gone.

We came home. We sat in the living room in shock. The hat box sitting on my kitchen table where she placed it before she left. Her PT Cruiser parked outside on the street where she parked it. Her purse and the shoes that flew off of her feet sitting in the passenger side of my van. Everything, just as she had left it. Me, just like she had left me. My emotions were raw. My pain unspeakably painful.

The days and nights to follow have been hard. I miss my Mom with every ounce of my soul. I am a woman of faith so I know that she's with God in the kingdom of heaven. I am a believer. My heart knows she's in a better place and she's in no pain. She suffers no more. She pains no more. She's happy and she's alive! It's my selfish side that misses her. I miss her laugh. I miss her jokes. I miss her. Just her. Just HER!

Today has been one month. One month I've gone on without her in my life. That seems so enourmous when you think about how close we had become. I can't even tell you how much I miss her. It's indescribeable and real. I find comfort in knowing that she'd want me to go on and care for her precious grand babies. She loved them so much! They were her everything. So, I trudge forward in life and know that she's there.... just not in the way I'd want her to be.

RIP Mama. RIP Adda. We miss you so much!

The days behind me and the days in front of me...

2010-03-04T16:56:00.000-08:00

The loss of my mother has really taken a toll on me. Mentally. Physically. A piece of me is forever missing. I miss her with every ounce of my soul. I don't EVER want to forget. Anything. She had become my world. She was my best friend. She and I talked every single day for hours on end. She'd drive over twice a week, sometimes more to spend time with the kids. I could share anything with her and she wouldn't judge. So, I miss all of that and so much more. I can't put into words my feelings. Nor can I explain to those that don't quite understand. The loss of her is extremely excruciating to me right now. I know time will heal and I know she's in heaven, but I physically hurt for her. It's all selfish and it's unfair of me, but I'm working through that. My husband and my kids are my salvation. God is here too! Life just seems to stand still in time as I learn to live without my Mama. So, I trudge forward in the days ahead. Putting one foot in front of the other. One step at a time. Day by day. Week by week. It all just doesn't seem real, but I know that it is. My pain tells me so.

My Mom

2010-02-22T18:49:00.000-08:00

February 12, 2010 was the hardest day of my life. My Mom passed away that day and a piece of me went with her. I have wanted to blog sooner, but I couldn't find the strength. I am a mess, have been since the loss. I hope to write about the day she passed because I was with her and so were two of my small children. I miss her terribly and can't believe she is gone. The fog that surrounds me is choking at times, but I've managed to live over a week without my Mom in my life here on earth. That seems so unreal to me. But it's very real. So, when I'm able I will write about her passing and tell you about her Memorial service.

Such a Diva!

2010-02-08T13:28:00.001-08:00

2010...

2010-02-06T20:09:00.000-08:00

2010 has been a great year so far. I have decided to open up shop and start my very own photography business. It's been a dream of mine to do this and after many requests from personal friends and family I decided that I might as well do something that I love besides being a Mommy. It's been so wonderful and such a rewarding process. I'm building my website and portfolio. I have a long way to go in the business building aspect of it all, but for now I'm having fun and making friends. If you get a chance, check out my website, blog and fan me on Facebook.

My Bow Hook-up is having a Giveaway!

2010-02-01T14:09:00.001-08:00

So RUN or head on over to her blog and put in an entry or two. She's got the goods! Just ask Sarah! Peace!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-12T22:34:00.000-08:00

2010 is here and I took my blog down for a few weeks. I had quite a few messages in email and on Facebook so I decided to leave a message just saying that I haven't really felt like writing lately. Facebook has given me an outlook with friends and family all there. I play the games, too many to name. All the other hours in my day are dedicated to my children, husband, housework and various other duties that fulfill my day. I've also taken up photography and if you know me, you know that I don't just do something in a little way, I dive right in and tackle it with full gear on. I'm not sure if I will write or keep this blog, but for now the blog is back open for your reading enjoyment. If you want to follow me and my family closer just "friend" me on Facebook and you will definitely get better, more current updates there. Happy 2010!

Mother/Daughter Picture

2009-10-20T14:17:00.001-07:00

and the daughter had interest in other things. Ahem.

I love this time of year!

2009-10-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

I love the Fall and Winter months. The weather in Texas doesn't always cooperate, but this year it's been mild and cool out. The humidity is what drowns you, but it's gone easy on us this Fall season. The boys are really into decorationg and celebrating holidays. As soon as the calendar struck October 1st they were eager to bring the rubbermaid containers down from the attic and start decorating the yard and house. In the past we've walked around together and I've put the decorations and ceramics out. This year I let them decorate the house and I have to say that they did a fine job for being six and four years old. The house looks very festive and the kids are all happy because of it. I'm as happy as a clam just knowing that small things make my kids happy these days.

I've been extremely busy with parenting three small kids at home which leads me to very little time for myself. The blog has suffered because of it and I feel bad when I haven't written in my "diary" in a while because there have been times when I've gone back and read what I've written a year or more ago to see where we were at that time. I'm not sure if that will ever change now that they are involved in so many activities and keep us on the go. I do know that we're all happy together and living a great life! I've prayed for this and sometimes when I sit and think about how good things are I can't believe it. God has been really great to us and we are extremely blessed!

Nature

2009-09-23T10:35:00.000-07:00

"How strange that Nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!"

-Emily Dickinson

10

2009-09-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

10 things that have made my day great!

1. Joshua's BIG hugs.
2. Sarah's sweet laugh.
3. Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino at Starbucks.
4. Editing pictures I've taken of the kids and a recent party.
5. Folding laundry (seems mundane, but it's therapeutic to me).
6. Good Health.
7. Target Run.
8. Email/Internet/Facebook
9. Clean Dishes (thank you, dishwasher).
10. Cool weather!

One day...

2009-09-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

I will rip through that play ground!

I love Proke Chops!

2009-09-11T07:58:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I marinated a family pack of pork chops in marinade over night and had Mr. Big grill them on the grill for dinner. I told Mr. Big to tell Joshua that it was "steak" because he was going through a picky stage and he loves steak. So, Mr. Big agreed. We fixed our plates and we cut up the pork chops for the boys. Joshua puts a piece of the pork chop in his mouth, chews it and then declares "I love proke chops!". We both looked at each other and laughed. Mr. Big said "So much for the steak!". Joshua then went onto tell us that he loved proke chops and wanted to eat them all night. Cute would be an understatement when it comes to the things Joshua comes up with.

Content

2009-09-06T13:48:00.000-07:00

Life is full for me at the moment. Life is everything I dreamed it would be when I was 30 something. At times I think it's more than I imagined and overwhelmingly beautiful. There are times when I reflect on tough times, but in the essence of the great days I am living, those seem like such a distant past. I can list out all the glorious things that make my life grand, but to some the things I find beauty in are not as glorious. At the end of the day when my head hits my pillow I'm genuinely content and for that I am grateful to God. When someone says "how's it going?" I can honestly reply with "Great!". Everything is Great! What a feeling that is to experience and what a blessing it is to live.

Back to School!

2009-08-31T11:08:00.000-07:00

Now that Jacob is back in school I feel like our schedule has come back. Summer felt like whirlwind with three kids at home all day every day. I swear I have never slept so good at night in my life. I had no time to myself and when I did it was hit or miss. The laundry was outrageous too! So, with life back to a quasi normal state I hope to blog more than I have been. I guess I go in spurts, but I do enjoy going back and reading old posts to see where I was a year ago, two years ago, etc. Life has really been great and I love reading how we got to this point. I know everything isn't perfect, but in my eyes, it's pretty darn close.

First Grade

2009-08-26T06:56:00.000-07:00

Jacob is officially a First Grader. I don't know how he grew up so fast so quickly, but he has. He's enjoying school so far and his teacher seems to be really nice. She reminds us a lot of his Kindergarten teacher and if that's the case then we struck the lottery twice because last year was such a great year! We have high hopes for our pupil and I'm sure he'll make us proud. He's such a cool kid and I hate having to share him, but know that he's ready for the world outside the home.

The Summer is coming to an end...

2009-08-11T07:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am still alive. If you keep up with me on Facebook you know that, but if you do not-well-Yes, I'm still breathing, taking in food and water and living on this earth. LOL!

The summer! Where do I begin? This summer has been the busiest summer of my life. Three kids is great, but where does the time go? I wake up and before I know it it's bedtime again. We've been on the go and on the move since school let out and I don't know where the summer has gone, honestly. We've packed in activities, doctor's appts., dentist appts, trips to the lake, trips to see both sets of grandparents, cousins, friends, etc etc etc. Life has just been a whirlwind of good times the past two months.

The kids...

Jacob will be entering first grade in 13 days. My little baby that I would sit and rock for hours in my lap is now a first grader! That just amazes me beyond words. It's really tripping me out, actually. I just don't know how those years flew by so quick! He just had his yearly check up and he was over the curve for weight and height. I could probably wear his shirts comfortably and his head touches my shoulder blades now. He's getting too big, too fast! We joke and tell him that we're going to put a brick on his head and rope it there to make him stop growing. He's such a cool kid and I love him to pieces.

Joshua is four and still the little devil he's always been. He's matured quite a bit and will reason with us now, which is nice. I really hope the next year he matures even more because I can't even imagine him in a class room setting at this point. He'll definately be the one to give us a run for our money when he is in school. I'm really worried about his behavior and social skills. He's more aggressive and outgoing than Jacob ever thought about being. With that being said, he's extremely smart and extremely motivated when it comes to learning and life. He really thinks things through and has an engineer's mind when it comes to building things and creating. I love to watch him flourish and blossom. When he's not being mischeivious he does enjoy sitting with me and snuggling on the sofa. He's still my baby boy and he knows that he always will be. I try to remind him of that on a daily basis.

Sarah. She's just my tiny, sweet, baby girl. I don't know how else to describe my little priss other than she's pure perfection. She's the easiest, sweetest little girl I've ever known. She has such a great spirit about her and everyone that meets her can tell right away that she's a good girl. Her smile is delightful and her laugh is the cutest girliest laugh. We laugh when she laughs just because it's that cute! She's a blessing beyond words to our family and I thank God for her and the boys each and every day.

So, that's a run down of our life this summer. I wish I had more time in my day to hang out on the computer like the good old days and blog more. I just am enjoying my life and the kids and well, at the end of the day sleep is pretty darn important to me. I know one day that I'll have more time and that these days will pass quickly so while I'm in the moment... I'm enjoying it and eating every ounce of it up!

Baby Boy is 4!

2009-07-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

Joshua is now FOUR! He can't believe he's FOUR and has actually asked for us to still stay he's three. I think he's a tad in denial. He's grown so much in the last year blossoming from what I believed was still my baby boy into my youngest little boy. He's still the mischievious, adventurous, crazy spirited one and I adore him because of it. He's a perfect mix of funny mixed with serious. He says and does the cutest things, but also challenges me to my limit. When I think of Joshua I smile (most of the time) because he makes my day very exciting and offers many original things to our day. This is my last year with him before he starts kindergarten and I know how fast that year will fly by. I am really enjoying our days together and know that they are limited to that one year before I lose my baby boy to a school year. He is a miracle to me and our family and I can't tell you how lucky I feel when I think back to the days of infertility and loss. There were times I felt hopeless and to tuck three beautiful kids into bed at night is a dream come true. I can't tell them enough just how much they are loved and how special each of them are to me. Joshua is the middle and will always hold a special place in my heart because he made me a Mom to two kids. He's a gift and I treasure him.

Mommy, Loves you Joshua!!! Happy Birthday my baby boy-You're 4!!!!

Happy Birthday, Jacob!!!

2009-06-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

From this...

To This... in just 6 short years!

Jacob,

You are the absolute sweetest, most caring son a mother could ask for. You are so well behaved! You are extremely wise for your years and you make me proud every single day. Six years ago today you made me a mother for the first time. You will always hold a special place in my heart because I didn't think I would be a mommy to anyone and there you were. I remember when you were delivered and how it felt when you took your first breath and let out that hearty newborn cry. I felt a huge sigh of relief and uncontrollably your father and I started crying pure tears of joy. We had done it and you were here! Life has been crazy ever since, but I wouldn't change a thing! You have made me a better person and for that I will always be greatful and thankful. You are a precious gift from God and I will never take you for granted. Every precious moment we share I treasure it and I hope that when you're as old as I am you will look back on these years with happiness because that is what you have brought everyone in our family.

I love you, my sweet baby boy!

Happy 6th Birthday!

Your Very Lucky and Proud Mommy

Crazy Days!

2009-06-02T14:00:00.000-07:00

I wish things would slow down. I have a ton of pictures to share and a ton of pictures to edit on my camera. Life has been crazy busy as the school year nears its end and the summer begins. We're having a garage sale this weekend at our house and I've been a busy bee tearing through closets and pricing items. Mission Declutter is in progress. When I sit down after putting the kids to bed and having a minute to myself I fall asleep sitting up. I'm ready for some dog days of summer and for life to slow down a tad, if possible.

He's no ordinary kid...

2009-05-28T07:06:00.000-07:00

He's Jacob! Almost six years old. I can't believe my baby is almost six. He makes me so proud every single day. He's such a good, good kid and such a lover. I can't believe he's graduating Kindergarten and becoming a first grader! Time flies and I wish I had the magic potion to make time stand still, if only for a little while. He's such a cool kid and I'm so proud to be his Mommy.

Keeping disease away when you have three littles...

2009-05-28T07:01:00.000-07:00

is near impossible. I mean, how do you isolate one from the pack when one becomes ill? You can't. The disease eventually spreads around and the second person then spreads it to the third person and before you know it we're all sick! Bleh! I have to admit my biggest baby isn't one of the littles. I'll let you figure it out, but I won't name names (Mr. Big!).

As you've probably guessed... we're all sick at my house. Joshua came down with it first. Sarah second. Mr. Big third and Me fourth. One more to go. Let's hope he can stay well for four more days of school. He has really fun things planned tomorrow and next week and I know he'd be devastated to miss them.

Oh and Sarah turned 8 months old this week! Look at this big girl!

Amongst all the chaos...

2009-05-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

Sarah turned 7 months old on April 26th. Slow down, would ya, Baby Girl??

The Splash Park

2009-05-16T13:23:00.000-07:00

We have two splash parks in the city we live and we've decided that the tax dollars that went towards these delightful parks are by far the best tax-paid-money that our city could spend. It's FREE to the public and the kids adore getting soaked in this Texas heat. We bring some chairs, a picnic blanket, a cooler and some toys and whalla! The kids are in heaven playing gleefully in the water while Mom, Dad and Baby sister bask in the shade on the side. It's a self contained wonderland for all! So, if you have a splash park in a city near you and you've been contemplating whether or not it's a good thing trust me when I say "RUN, don't look back, take your kids!". Your life will forever be changed! You'll love, love, love, love it!!!

Summer, here we come!

2009-05-07T15:30:00.000-07:00

Can you believe we're almost to summer? Jacob's last day at school is June 4th. He has early release that day. Is it bad that I'm going to miss the school year? It's been nice having just two little ones at home. I do miss Jacob terribly during the day, but he's my "busy child". He loves to go and do. I am just dreading the entertainment aspect of the summer that is about to hit me. He is already asking if we can go to the beach and back to Seaworld. Ugh!

What do you have planned for your summer? Anything fun?

Life in General...

2009-05-01T09:02:00.000-07:00

Life has been crazy busy. I look at my calendar and it's almost summer already! Where do the days and months go? They fly by at such a rapid speed that I can't catch my bearings most days. I do a load of laundry and the dirty clothes hamper is piled high the next day, or so it seems. I guess between a household of little kiddos and a life in general, time just passes us by. We have all been well. The kids are growing and flourishing at a rapid speed.

Jacob is doing great in Kindergarten. He will get out of school on June 4th and then we'll do some fun summer things together as a family. I'm sure the house will be hectic when we've got three at home. That just translates to more fighting over toys and boredom when we have to stay in to get housework done.

Joshua is really into building Geotrax train stations and tracks. He's got the mind of an engineer and loves to line his cars up in highway jams. He is still my mischievous monster and really just lives in his own little world most of the time. He's grown so much that when I hold him in my lap his limbs just hang off of me. It's amazing how fast they grow!

Sarah, well, she's the sweetest pea in the bunch. I can't complain one iota about that little girl. She is the light in our lives. She makes our family shine. She really just compliments us. I love, love, love her and if I could eat her I would. She's just delicious.

So, I hope you're life is busy, but you're still getting to stop and smell the roses. I try... it's hard, but I do try! Let me know how you're doing! I'm sure if you are on Facebook you get my updates there as well and know that I'm around and alive.

Things like this could only happen to me...

2009-04-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

An innocent romp in the park resulted in a

six inch splinter in my ass...

*This was what was removed internally...under the $5 bill

After a trip to the ER and the doctor cutting into my buttock muscle to remove the splinter, I am good as new. My butt was sore the next day, but even with two stitches and a pretty nasty bruise on my leg I'm doing fine.

How did this happen? I was enjoying the nice weather with my kids and my Mom at the park. We were taking pictures and playing with the kids. I was sitting on a park bench taking pictures of Sarah, who was sweetly smiling at Jacob, in her stroller. I scooted back on the bench to get a better shot and I felt something enter my butt cheek (right at where your butt cheeks meets your leg). I stood up instantly and showed my Mom (who never freaks out!) and she insisted we go home. So, I wobbled to the van and we buckled the kids up and went home. I knew it was bad as I walked because the throbbing started and it felt really bad. Upon further inspection at the house we decided that it was pretty serious. I called Mr. Big who declared he'd just ice the area and get it out himself when he got home. I mean, how innocent does the situation sound? I have a splinter in my butt, honey, come home. It DOES sound really small when you say it out loud. Innocent that splinter was not! So, I laid in bed for a hour waiting on Mr. Big to get home, tugging at the splinter occasionally and writhing from the log in my ass. Mr. Big looked at it as soon as he got home and he said "Let's go to the ER". So, off we went and it's all a blur from there. We did find some humor in the situation and I wasn't the "butt of too many jokes".

Things this random and bizarre only happen to me!

And, all of that for this one great shot!

This was the last picture on my camera when I checked the next morning...

Notes from the Highchair

2009-04-20T05:47:00.000-07:00

1. I only like Mom's baby food. My faves include sweet peas and sweet potatoes. Gerber, Beechnut and all others do not compare. I will eat them, but she will hear about it.

2. Cereal with a scoop of formula is not the same as cereal with expressed breast milk. If you think I will not notice, think again. I will definately not eat it if you try to fool me.

3. I love blowing raspberries when my mouth is full of baby food. It's awesome to watch my Mom duck and say things like "Not in my eyes!", "Oh, Sarah!", and "For God's sake eat the baby food without blowing it at me!".

4. Bibs are over rated! Tug, pull, strain, gasp and make a big deal. If you pull enough antics sometimes Mom will relent and take it off. Then the fun begins... (insert raspberries)!

5. Straps on the highchair taste the best. Baby food Shmaybe Food! I love me some straps. Mom tries to tell me this little word that I'm already starting to despise (NO) . I just pretend I don't hear her. I mean, the high chair is mine and the straps are there for something, right?

6. Don't I look Gangsta in my chair? This is how I roll...Peace!

Thank you, God!

2009-04-16T05:44:00.000-07:00

I read lots of blogs and even though I sometimes don't visit those blogs every day I do try to go by weekly or bi-monthly to catch up. It's funny because I tend to visit blogs daily that are in crisis. Sometimes I ponder why I do that to myself because some of the blogs on the net these days are so painful and emotional to read. I find myself captivated by the raw emotions and the disparity of the blogger in crisis. I read their words and their pain and it jumps off the screen into my heart. I sit in prayer and I pray for them. I mean I dig deep and ask God for answers and for guidance for them. I am a deeply spiritual person and while I mostly keep my religious views and thoughts to myself I do have a profound love and adoration for our Lord God. I believe, I believe in him and I believe in miracles.

Today I've already visited McMama's blog and I can't imagine the confusion and the anguish she is experiencing within herself right now as a mother. She writes as if she's a strong mother, but I can also read through her posts that she's in a ton of hurt right now. I can imagine that the fear she is experiencing at this time is overwhelming her. I can imagine that the fear of losing her five month old son is terrifying her. I can imagine that the uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring is absolutely devastating. I can imagine that everything in her world right now feels rocky and unsure. While her world is captivating to many, you have to sit back and think of the reality of everything and pray that in the words on her blog there will be salvation and recovery. I think sometimes we forget as humans that while we're being entertained by tragedy, the person involved in the tragedy is there pleading for help. I ask the Lord today to be with all those in pain and suffering, especially McMama and her family.

In the midst of tragedy it's easy to get lost, but I am trying not to get lost. I say today that I am thankful for my normal, every day routine. Most importantly, I'm thankful for my healthy children and husband. I am thankful that everything is okay here and that my life is typical. I am happy, healthy and a proud mother and wife to a beautiful family. I can't imagine if a knife were stuck through that right now and I am thankful on bended knees saying to God, Thank you!

Texas Tradition

2009-04-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

Sarah in the Texas Bluebonnets. We're Deep in the Heart of Texas, Ya'll!

My First Easter Bunny Picture

2009-04-03T07:10:00.000-07:00

Let's just say that Sarah wasn't too sure about this Big Furry Bunny she had to sit on. She looked at him very bewildered and stuck her bottom lip out. She didn't cry because that's just not my sweet girl's style, but she did look confused and put on that "Mommy pick me up" face. She survived and although it's not the best picture of my pretty girl, it will suffice for the baby book. You gotta get atleast one picture sitting on the Easter bunny's lap. I can scratch that off my list as done.

My Girls, Easter Style

2009-04-03T07:07:00.001-07:00

The Tooth Fairy

2009-03-30T09:38:00.000-07:00

Jacob lost his first tooth on March 27th. He tugged and tugged on it and finally asked if we could assist him in the removal process. I tied a piece of floss to the tooth and tugged on it and it was really (hanging by a thread) loose. My Mom was over and she has longer nails than myself so she tugged on it after the floss tug and whalla, it was out! Jacob was so proud. You could see the pride in his eyes as he looked at the tooth. We put a wash cloth in his mouth to stop the bleeding and he would walk to the mirror checking out the hole in his mouth. He was beaming! So, now he has a hole up front, but the adult tooth is already in position moving forward into that spot. It's amazing that he's old enough to even lose a tooth.

Look Mommy, Sandy Hands!

2009-03-29T09:25:00.001-07:00

Muddy Buddies

2009-03-29T09:21:00.001-07:00

Spring Break was never this much fun when I was little. Adda came over this week and we did all kinds of fun things. You know, the kinds of things that Mommy won't let you do. Like get the water hose out and flood the back yard to create mud puddles that you then proceed to play in all afternoon in your swim trunks. Life is good when Adda is around! Mommy did seize the moment to take some pictures because who can resist two ornery little boys covered in mud? Not this Mommy! For sure!

Tomorrow Spring Break is over and it's back to the daily grind of carpool lines, packing lunches and homework. It went too fast!

My Beautiful Daughter

2009-03-25T07:07:00.001-07:00

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear

But the truth is plain to see

She was sent to rescue me

I see who I wanna be

In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal

Darkness turns to light and theworld is at peace

This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak

I find reason to believe In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her handaround my finger

Oh it puts a smile in my heart

Everything becomes a little clearer

I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough

It's giving more when you feel like giving up

I've seen the light

It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future

A reflection of who I am and what will be

Though she'll grow and someday leave

Maybe raise a family

When I'm gone I hope you see

how happyshe made me

or I'll be there

In my daughter's eyes

Spring

2009-03-23T13:49:00.000-07:00

Every year when Spring arrives we have a dove that nests under our roof line on the front porch. She loves to build her nest and lay her eggs right in that very spot each year. I'm just assuming it is the same dove, but I could be wrong. All I know is that she provides entertainment from our front dining room window. The kids love watching her, and so do I.

Remember the Alamo

2009-03-23T13:45:00.001-07:00

Our family trip to San Antonio was fantastic. I can't emphasis enough how well the kids did on the trip. They were really great travelers. We had such a nice time that we all didn't want to come home. Saturday we went to Seaworld. Sunday we went to the Riverwalk/Alamo and did the touristy stuff. It was a fun, fun, fun trip! I'm already planning the next vacation in my mind and maybe we'll even venture even further away from home next time. I will admit that the most fun was provided by the luggage cart and the hotel swimming pools, but hey... we were all together and having fun! That's what counts, right?

Shamu is alive and well..."Believe"!

2009-03-23T13:41:00.001-07:00

*More Pictures from Seaworld in my Flickr Album.

Josh

2009-03-19T07:02:00.000-07:00

Spirited

Sweet

Handsome

Extrovert

Smiles

Messy

Fast

Mischievious

Deep

Funny

Addicting

More, More, More...

2009-03-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

When people ask me if we're done having kids I always cringe with that question. If you would have asked me one day postpartum I would have said "No, I want more, more, more..."! Hormones, ya know? Then reality would hit me and I'd ponder why a complete stranger would ask someone that? I have probably asked it to my close girlfriends, but never to a complete stranger. I'm sure it's a very common question these days considering people stare at me out in public when they see me with two boys and a girl, three kids total, in tow. I've even had the "you sure are brave" comment tossed at me a few times.

Complete strangers will ask us about the children (names and ages). Then the common question that seems to come next is always "Are you done or are you planning more?". When I'm with Mr. Big he doesn't necessarily say we're done. He does however say "I've got three college tuitions to pay for" and just stares back at the person. They then take that to mean "we're done". I, however, just stand off to the side with my mouth closed because I personally think that's a hard question to answer.

Ask me on a day when my children are acting like demon spawns and I'll whole heartedly say "We're done!". Ask me on a day when the kids are all sick and I'm running around with old towels cleaning up vomit and I'll declare "No more!". Ask me on a day when they track mud all over my newly shampooed carpets and I'll say "Shoot me now!". Ask me on a day when I can't even take a shower because I don't have 30 minutes to myself in our schedule for that and I'll say "Give me a break!". Ask me on a day when I'm so tired that I fall asleep sitting upright on the sofa and I'll say "I don't have it in me".

But... Ask me on a day when they are all sitting with me on the sofa and we're peacefully snuggling together watching a movie and I'll say "I want more of this!". Ask me on a day when I get sloppy kiss after sloppy kiss and I've heard them call me Mommy all day, I'll say "this is the life!". Ask me on a day when I look down into the blue eyes of my five month old daughter and see myself in her tiny body and I'll say "I can't believe this is my amazing life". Ask me on a day when my oldest tells me he loves me a hundred billion million trillion kazillion (which is a lot to a five year old) and I'll tell you that "I hope I hear this until the day I die".

I can't say we're done yet. I can say I do feel complete, happy and content. Am I wrong for wanting more of this? I doubt it. Is a person wrong for wanting more designer jeans when they fit so well in the pair they already own? I don't think so. I cringe at the cost and the route we have to take to build our family, but I do look beyond all of that and into the eyes of my children. The depth of their souls and the love that we all share in this house is overwhelmingly amazing. I can't even begin to describe to someone how cool being a mother to three kids is. I think only a parent would understand it and quite frankly, not even some parents fully grasp the crazy feelings I have towards my kids. Life just seems really good when we're all together.

So, I believe that I'm crazy for not wanting more of this. While I do feel like a "baby hoarder" at times, I do also feel that my feelings are 100% valid. So, my answer is still "unsure" at the moment. I am 33 years old and still have a few years to toy around with the idea and convince my husband that there are scholarship programs out there to be had. Ha ha! No, seriously, though, I'm undecided and while I sit teetering on the fence I will enjoy these beautiful, funny, healthy kids of mine and dream that maybe there might be one more of them to enjoy life with. For now, I am truly, honestly blessed to have the ones I already have.

Spring Break... Here we come!

2009-03-16T07:04:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I had this great idea...

I made reservations at hotels in San Antonio to embark on our very first Spring Break adventure as a family. The planning was fun and I had a great time getting my Mom to help me find the best deals to Seaworld and Riverwalk/Alamo activities. I bought the tickets to Seaworld at a fraction of the price and felt great about saving money. I reserved our rooms using Priceline, reward points, etc. saving us even more money! Score! It all sounded great at the time and now I sit and think about the packing, the traveling, the chaos, the drama. Ah, good times! I really must have had three or four cups of coffee that day to make myself really think that traveling with a 5, 3 and 5 month old sounded wonderful. So, here I sit on Monday thinking about the Friday afternoon we will be leaving and I just want for someone to hold me and stroke my hair. I'm scared! Very scared!

Wish me luck as I attempt to abuse myself and my husband, who innocently thinks this is going to be kick ass! I do have my new camera though and while I'm scared about the hotel rooms being defaced and withstanding Joshua's abuse, I am excited about capturing the expressions on their faces when Shamu jumps out of the water and they see that for the first time. I am also excited to see Jacob when he walks up to the Alamo and sees it for the first time. He's my little historian and will LOVE it. So... while scared, there is some sense of excitement. I can't believe my kids are old enough to take them on vacation. Wow! This is the life.

Life with 3

2009-03-12T06:29:00.000-07:00

I've had people ask me how life is with three kids. I have multiple responses, but the first answer right off the top of my head is "Easy". No, I'm serious. Life has been great with three kids. I'm even contemplationg a 4th kid because it's just that easy. I'm sure that having an easy baby makes it seem like gravy, but seriously, I'm loving life over here! My kids are all so different and unique. They add a spice to our lives that wasn't there before and while our life is completely chaotic I can't imagine it any other way at the moment.

Jacob is the typical first born child. He's eager to please everyone and is really easy to handle. He's laid back and easy going. He loves art and keeps himself entertained for hours just coloring or drawing. He loves watching movies, playing with action figures and doing things in his room like build forts and create imaginary scenerios. He is honest and forthcoming if he is guilty of doing something wrong. He's got such a sweet nature about him and is such a caring, loving person. He's compassionate about what he believes in and will stand up for those he loves. He's quiet and internalizes quite a bit, but will share his feelings when prompted. He is just an all around good guy. He reminds me of myself as a young child because he's always trying to do the right thing even when put into situations where he could do the wrong thing. He's a good citizen and makes great decisions for a five year old boy. He's a dreamer and a planner. He is just a great mixture of Mr. Big and I and I love watching him think and rationalize.

Joshua is our wild-child. He has energy that is unstoppable. He never tires and when he does you know it's because he's worn himself out. He is stubborn, hard headed and strong willed. He gives me a run for my money on a daily basis. He challenges not only me, but everyone he meets. He's out-going and will talk your ear off. He's inquisitive and will ask you a million questions a day, only to ask you the same or different questions the next day. He has a spirit that is immense. He is such a happy child and if he's frowning or crying you know there is a reason. He's got the most beautiful blue eyes and I believe that they are the window to his soul because something so beautiful can't even be bought or sold. He's charming and will capture you in seconds. He is a little ladies man and all the girls his age and older love him. He's the one that will keep us up at night when he's 16 and breaking curfews.

Sarah, while still little, is such a darling girl. When she was born and people would ask me about her I would describe her as "perfect". In my mind the instance I saw her I thought "perfection". When the doctor pulled her out he held her up so we could see her and she was the first of my babies to not immediately scream out like a banshee. She took her first breath, made a soft cry and then just looked at us with those newborn eyes. She's pretty much been the same ever since. She is an easy, happy, good baby. There is no other way to describe her because she is really just that easy to love and care for. She has a calmness about her that my boys don't have. She is content to sit with you in your lap and just hang out. She has the most beautiful smile that will light up the room. She belly laughs and makes the dog laugh with her. I remember when I was pregnant thinking that if I was pregnant with a boy I'd be okay with that because I loved my boys so much and what would I do with a daughter. I now can't imagine her being a boy and God, what I would have been missing if she would have been a boy. For me, having a daughter has really been a dream come true and I just feel so complete with her in my life. There is a sense of friendship with her that I hope we always keep in life.

So, all in all, my kids are completely different people. I love them for who they are and what they all bring to this family. They really make life fun and entertaining. I look back to when we didn't know if we'd ever have a family of our own and it all seems so foreign. Memories that seem so distant, yet so real for me. I just know now that God's timing was perfect and he did send me three perfect children. They are the lights of my life. Will we add another one? I don't know. Right now we say we're done, but I wonder if in a couple years we will want another one. Time will tell, but for now I feel so happy, so alive and so content with the three wonderful babies I already have. I will never take them for granted one second, one minute, one hour of one day. You can ask them all if I tell them I love them and they will probably tell you, Yes, she tells us too much. I can only say that I can't tell them enough.

Back on the Wagon...

2009-03-12T06:26:00.000-07:00

Yes. You read right. Ever since my yankee BFF came into town and dusted off our coffee maker I'm back on the coffee wagon. It's been too long! I have enjoyed a cup of coffee every morning since she left. I'm putting French Vanilla creamer to work every morning! It's so good and it keeps me up and alert for my daily activities. I'm limiting myself, believe me, because I could easily drink a whole pot by myself. I'm just not sure what that would do to Sarah. So, Thanks alot, D, for bringing an old bad habit back. I realize it's not your fault completely, but for now... you're to blame! Not little old me! :)

Getting in shape...

2009-03-11T07:12:00.000-07:00

I have finally come to the point where I need to take control and get back in shape. I spent the majority of my day yesterday going through my closet and bagging up all the size 2's that I will never fit my fat thighs and ass into again. I have three bags full of XS and S clothes for the Salvation Army. I can't believe that I even ever fit into those clothes. I haven't gone through my closet in over 10 years and really done a thorough clean out. Yesterday was that day! I am really happy to see that stuff go because it was my past life clothes. I'm ready to refresh my wardrobe in the fashion of today and of course, with the size I am today. Three kids can do a number on a woman's body. I'm living proof of that. I have always been very conscience of my weight and my fitness. I've really let myself go in the midst of infertility and pregnancies mixed through out the years. This week I'm taking control again and I'm hitting the gym in hopes that I can shape and mold this body back into a body that I can be proud of. I know that realistically I will never be a size 2, but for me it's about being proud of my body and what I've accomplished getting it to a point where I can look in the mirror and not cringe at what I see. I do give myself credit because I am only 5 months post partum and while I don't look horrid, I don't look great either. I am nursing too which makes it very difficult to really diet and hunker down to lose the weight by eating less. I'm joining a Beginner's Pilates class on Friday mornings and if all goes well there I'm considering adding a Beginner's Spin class on Thursday afternoons. It's all about looking good and feeling good, not necessarily about the weight loss. Wish me Luck! I'm going to need it...

Sissy

2009-03-05T15:37:00.001-08:00

The boys have called Sarah Sissy for awhile. I had flashbacks at first of Sissy Spacek from the Cole Miner's Daughter and I always just kind of hoped it would go away. Well, the nickname stuck and we've all started calling her Sissy, or Sis. Now all I can picture is her sweet face and the fact that she's our Sissy. It makes me smile.

Brothers

2009-03-05T15:31:00.001-08:00

"A brother is a friend God gave you; a friend is a brother your heart chose for you."

Proverb

5 Months

2009-03-05T15:29:00.001-08:00

5 months and cute as ever!

Diarrhea, Cha, Cha, Cha!

2009-03-03T10:13:00.000-08:00

I find this ironic that I'm posting about diarrhea after my last post titled "33 never felt so good!". I would have to argue that fact now. I honestly don't know how I have a colon left because the last three days have been filled with watery shit explosions from my rear. Yes, you read that right. I'm at my wits end with this diarrhea and I don't know what to do about it. My Mom called her family doctor and she suggested I drink pedialyte (lose the sugary gatorade) and snack on some saltines. At the moment I don't want to ingest anything because it either comes out of my rear in water format or up through a disgusting burp that tastes like rotten eggs. God, this really does sound like an 88 year old blogger posting this. I swear to you that I wouldn't post this if it weren't so life altering and disgusting at the moment. Someone save me. Dear God, Where are you today (and yesterday and Saturday??)???

33 never felt so good!

2009-02-25T09:12:00.000-08:00

Today I turned 33 years young. I have thought a lot today about what my Mom was doing 33 years ago today and it really made me smile. As a mother to three little ones myself I realize now how special today is to not only myself, but to my Mom. All those embarrasing Happy Birthday songs and celebrations now all make sense. So, today I sit and I feel really blessed and complete. I have a beautiful family built with a wonderful husband. I can't imagine my life any other way. I know I'm lucky and I just can't thank God enough for what he's done for me in my life. I truly, truly, truly do feel overwhelmed with gratitude today!

Recuperating...

2009-02-24T11:18:00.000-08:00

My yankee BFF left yesterday and I am recuperating from our visit. It is never long enough and I always feel so tired after she leaves. We really took it easy, but I think the long talks and non-stop banter is what wears me out. I'm so used to my conversations with little people that adult conversation can wear you out. It was nice to have a break from the mundane and to do it with someone you adore is even better! I can't wait for our next visit! This one was long over due.

Maryland is coming home!

2009-02-19T06:23:00.000-08:00

I've been due for a visit from my Maryland BFF for awhile. Life is just not the same when you go more than a year without a girly visit. I'm looking forward to our late night chats and talks over margaritas. The location never matters nor does what we do when we're together. Life just seems to stand still and everything around us goes on normally like it should. I really enjoy our visits and I'm happy to have her here for a long weekend. Of course, I want to kick her ass at the same time because I've never felt the tug to clean my house so well. I know she would care less, but let's just say that a pregnancy of neglect has finally coming to an end. My carpets are getting shampooed and the dust is not there to write notes in anymore.

**This is an old school picture from the Poconos when my SIL was married. We seized the opportunity to meet up and party together.

Button Nose

2009-02-17T08:18:00.000-08:00

Last week we met Jacob for lunch. Joshua sat next to one of Jacob's school buddies. He decided to lick the child several times during lunch. I, of course, was appalled and bewildered. I've never really quite figured out what makes Joshua tick. So, upon asking him why he'd do such a thing he looked at me very seriously and declared "Because I your button nose, Mommy!". My heart melted because I've called him my button nose since he was a tiny newborn. I did, however, explain to him that being my button nose didn't come with the duty to lick innocent kindergarteners eating their lunches. He seemed to understand, but that is yet to be determined. I'll test that out again this morning... let's hope he keeps his tongue in his mouth.

Jacob's Valentines Day Party

2009-02-17T08:14:00.001-08:00

Kickin' it Kindergarten style... Jacob had such a cute Valentines Day party. His shoebox was full of great Valentines and he also received lots of cool treats. We had a great time!

Jacob with one of the 'treats'.

Happy Belated Valentines Day!

2009-02-17T08:10:00.000-08:00

From Sarah in her pretty little dress to you! Happy Valentines Day! Smooches.

Are you for real?

2009-02-12T06:41:00.000-08:00

Joaquin Phoenix was on David Letterman last night. I am still realing over it this morning. I can't stop thinking about it! Was he for real? If you missed it, google it on youtube and watch it yourself. It's the talk of the net this morning. Do you think he was acting or was he on something? I'm thinking the later and I don't really like what I saw. David did make it funny in parts, but it was mostly uncomfortable to watch. Tell me what you think! I think I've got post traumatic stress from viewing it. Seriously...

Homemade Baby Food

2009-02-11T12:08:00.000-08:00

I have discovered the world of homemade baby food and I am absolutely addicted to steaming and puree'ing foods. Who would have thought that this could be so much fun. I have done Butternut Squash, Sweet Potatoes, Green Peas, Pears and Peaches so far. My freezer is going to be very full. I'm going to attempt Apples and Blueberries tomorrow. This is fun and just think of all the money I'm saving!

Sarah is Famous!

2009-02-06T07:39:00.000-08:00

The gal that we bought our most recent bow from on Ebay featured her on her website. I was thrilled, of course. Sarah inspired a whole page on her website for other little bow heads! Oh and she really does make beautiful, well-made bows for those interested.

Here's the Link: http://www.princessbowtique.net/page...ourPicture.htm

The Scholar

2009-02-05T11:11:00.001-08:00

Jacob just got his 3rd report card of the year. He's reading well and developing right on track. He's such a good boy and while everyone calls him "the scholar", he does have his boyish side too. He's my sweet kid and I'm so proud of him!

The Talker

2009-02-05T11:07:00.000-08:00

Sarah is getting even cuter as she gets a little bigger. She's cooing and talking to us all the time. She even sits in her car seat on rides and talks to the window. She's got this really sweet soft voice too. I turned the radio down today to listen to her gab in the back of the van. Joshua kept saying "Sissy is talking". We are enjoying watching her blossom into her own little person.

The First Bite

2009-02-03T17:04:00.000-08:00

Flower Power

2009-02-03T17:03:00.001-08:00

Sarah modeling the newest addition to her bow collection.

Sarah's 4 month appt. and stats

2009-02-02T11:39:00.000-08:00

Sarah had her 4 month well check up today. She weighed 13 lbs. 8 oz. (50th%) and was 25 inches (75th%) long. She got 2 shots in the leg and one oral vaccine. It was 5 shots total, shots were combined. She didn't even cry. She's such a good girl! Everything looked great! She's rolling over and even army crawling (ALREADY!!!). Sigh! She's growing too fast! We got the green light for cereal today too. She goes back at 6 months.

Kawasaki

2009-01-29T06:18:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard a three year old say Kawasaki? If not, and you have a three year old ask him or her to say it. If I say so myself, it's the most adorable word ever! So... as you have probably figured out, Josh says Kawasaki on a daily basis.

And, this is why:

I'm trying...

2009-01-23T07:19:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to learn more about photography and my camera. It's coming, but not as easily as I thought it would. I have a whole new found respect for photographers and what they deal with on a daily basis. It's more of an internal struggle for me to capture the perfect shot. I realize that I can snap 100 shots and out of those 100 shots only 2 *might* capture just what I had envisioned perfectly in my head. I want the perfect shot and I will stop at nothing to get it. If that means weeding through the shots and not find a single one then so be it. For the most part, however, I have found one or two that I like. I have the perfect subjects too and it's hard not to find atleast one cute shot of them. Okay, maybe more, but that's a whole other biased blog entry on how cute my little ones are.

I am really, really loving my new camera. You might not realize this but a nicer camera and learning about said nicer camera was one of the things I've always wanted to do in my life. It's one of my "bucket list" items. I think it's more learning and getting good at it. My grandfather is my inspiration because he always took really nice pictures of my brother and I growing up. I wish my scanner were working so I could share them with you. Let's just say that back in the 70's it was harder than it is today working with the older equipment. I actually have my Mom's camera and maybe one day I will start using it. Digitals are just so much easier.

Anyway-off on a tangent there... I just uploaded some pictures to my flickr. I made some of them public so take a gander. Also, I'm learning softwares, mostly photoshop. I have Photo Elements downloaded for 30 days (free trial) and it's been fun to learn some tricks there. A friend of mine is sending me Photoshop CS3 and I truly appreciate that and her generosity. I can't wait to learn on that and improve some of my pictures. Hopefully as I develop I won't use the software as a crutch and will be able to share pictures SOOC with no qualms.

So, tell me, photogs (is that right? learning the lingo here) what inspires you? What softwares do you use? What cameras do you have? Let's talk!

To the Moon!

2009-01-20T09:18:00.000-08:00

I used to play in this park when I was a little girl and now my kids play at the same park when they visit my parents aka Adda and Adpa. Everytime I go to the park I love watching them climb on the rocket. It reminds me of the times my brother and I would ride our bikes to the park, dig in the dirt, climb trees, play on the playground and just act like kids. Those were the days...

The Start...

2009-01-16T20:43:00.000-08:00

I took random pictures today with the new camera.

I can tell a difference in the clarity of the pictures.

I did resize them to share. Click on the actual picture to make it larger.

Merry Christmas to me!!!

2009-01-16T10:13:00.000-08:00

...and Valentines Day... and my Birthday... and Easter... and all the other holidays that come for the next year! But, She's here. I'm going to name her and of course she's a she because she's so beautiful, she can't be a guy! Like Duh...

I've got a permagrin! I haven't been this giddy since Sarah first smiled at me!

Oh and any recommendations on amateur photography websites that I could pick up tricks, tips and suggestions on starting out with a SLR camera? I am such the amateur, but very eager to learn! Suggestions welcomed here!

Joshua on being 3.

2009-01-15T07:04:00.000-08:00

When you're three there is a world to explore.

You are discovering your independence and asserting it.

You are mischievious, cheeky and down right crude.

You explore bad words that you were always too afraid to say before.

You throw tantrums on the floor and kick your feet with anger.

You make funny faces, sometimes dirty faces at others.

You don't always listen when you're told to do something.

You have selective hearing.

You run away in public, even though you know you'll get in trouble for it.

You don't listen, unless there's candy involved.

You laugh at yourself.

You throw toys at people.

You get irritable easy.

You hate to go on the potty.

You are your very own little person no matter how we tried to meld you.

But.....even with all your new found discoveries...

You are precious.

You are loved.

You are laughed with and at.

You are hugged and kissed lots.

You are priceless.

And all the bad,

is overcome by all the good because all of this shall pass as you grow and mature.

Tummy Time!

2009-01-14T06:37:00.000-08:00

We started Sarah on Tummy Time. She starts off with enthusiasm. Very strong! Lifting her head and neck up high for the world to see. She stares at her brothers playing and looks something like this:

Her sweet face as she stares at her brothers:

Tummy time can wear a girl out! Five minutes of holding a head up proves to be hard work. So, you just lay there like this until someone feels sorry for you and picks you up. Mommy always comes to my rescue...she's such a sucker.

Houston Boat Show 2009

2009-01-14T06:31:00.000-08:00

Every year we go to the Houston Boat Show. Mr. Big loves to go and touch the boats. He is a dreamer and that's one of the qualities I love about him. Maybe one day he will own his own boat, I hear as we walk through the aisles of boats. I always tell him "not this year, Dear!". Ha ha! Anyway, the boys really love going and they love getting on the boats and "driving" them. They also enjoy getting on the R.V.s and pretend they are camping out. So funny! I always take my camera and get lots of pictures. I uploaded more on my Flickr if you're interested. All in all we had a nice time. I always stop off at Starbucks on the way out, so it motivates me to attend.

Park Days

2009-01-08T07:48:00.000-08:00

The weather has been so pretty the last two days. Yesterday we went to the park for an hour and enjoyed some lunch afterwards. Joshua ran and ran and ran. I guess he had some pent up energy to release. He brought his Monster Truck along and played trucks on the sidewalks and in the grass. He was all over that park. Sarah and I just enjoyed the sunshine together. I took a couple pictures of her in a wooden rocker and Joshua got in on the action. I nursed her sitting in the sun on a bench out of the way. It was just a lovely, quiet morning together enjoying the outdoors and the beautiful weather. I love days like those!

Look who got a new toy!

2009-01-07T07:42:00.000-08:00

** Thanks Adda and Adpa!

January

2009-01-07T07:39:00.000-08:00

January always seems like such a let down to me. I miss the holidays and all the fun that goes along with it. Jacob started back to school after being off for two weeks and I miss him during the day. It's cold outside and yesterday it was raining. I dunno... maybe it's just me, but I find this time of year a little boring! I'm already thinking ahead to the next couple holidays like Valentines Day and Easter. So, what do you do to pass your time during the day?

First Smiles

2009-01-06T10:17:00.001-08:00

Always make me smile, how about you?

3 Months

2009-01-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

3 Months with the sweetest, most adorable, angel in the universe. I can't get enough of this peanut! The love that she experiences in this house is amazing! We're all smitten.

Monster Truck Show

2009-01-05T07:39:00.001-08:00

We had the pleasure of going to the Monster Truck show this weekend with the boys. We went with one of my BFFs, Jen and her family. We met for mexican food first and that started the night off in a great way. I love mexican and so do all my littles. The monster truck show wasn't anything like I expected it to be. We really got into it and had a great time! Bounty Hunter won the races and Grave Digger won the freestyle. It was funny because the boys had monster truck toys in tow on the way there and coincidentally they had Bounty Hunter and Grave Digger. I thought that was funny. I think we're fans now and will probably try to go again. If you could have seen how still Joshua sat for hours you would have been impressed! I know I was.

A New Year Quiz

2009-01-02T07:05:00.000-08:00

New Years Quiz

I totally stole this from Allison's blog, feel free to steal it from mine.
Let me know if you do so I can read your answers.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
I became the Mom of a Kindergartner.
I discovered what a car pool line is all about.
I gave birth to a daughter, my sweet baby girl.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I never make resolutions. I do make goals and might mention a few dreams that I would like to accomplish. Last year I said I want to become pregnant in 2008 and that dream did come true. So, I feel like I accomplished something in 2008.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I did, but no one that I knew in real life. I did know several online friends that gave birth though.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No and that's wonderful to say.

5. What countries did you visit? None. I was pregnant and no travel for me.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Maybe a vacation or two.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? January 14th and 15th of 2008 were the two days I had IUIs to become pregnant. Two weeks later I received a phone call from the RE's office with the news I was pregnant. I hadn't tested yet at home so I was really happy to hear the news. I also will never forgot the day we found out we were having a daughter via ultrasound examination and of course, the September 26, 2008, the day our sweet baby Sarah was born. I will also remember August 26th, the day Jacob started Kindergarten and I lost my oldest son to school during the day. I still can't believe he's so big!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Juggling three kids and figuring it all out.

9. What was your biggest failure? Overspending and tackling some debt.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No, Happy to report that.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I won't bore you with kid items. But, mostly things for the kids... to make my life easier.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Jacob. He's such a sweet kid. Always so good!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Joshua. He's so wild. But, he's improving and I can't really bash him since he's only three years old.

14. Where did most of your money go? Bills and more bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My pregnancy

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Gravity by Jon Mayer.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter, I've got "baby fat" still.
c) richer or poorer? Probably about the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I wouldn't have eaten all those cookies and maybe do a few more things with the family like travel.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Yelling at my kids. :o)

20. How did you spend Christmas? We spent it with the family. I enjoyed watching them open gifts and I always treasure the innocence and sweetness of their youth.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Yes, with my daughter. She's a miracle beyond words.

22. What was your favorite TV program? CSI, Grey's Anatomy and Criminal Minds.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No, I'm not a hater.

24. What was the best book you read? The Twilight series sucked me in...

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I can't say I had a discovery, but I have enjoyed what the artists have done this year.

26. What did you want and get? Pregnancy, healthy baby and hopefully a daughter. And, I did!!! I feel so blessed.

27. What did you want and not get? A Million Dollars.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Iron Man was really good.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 32 and we went to a nice dinner at our favorite mexican restaraunt with a group of close friends. I couldn't enjoy adult beverages, but it was my little secret at the time because everyone thought my daquiri was full strength when it was virgin.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? To have more money to enjoy some more frivilous things, but I that's really reaching since we did have a good year honestly.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Maternity Wear.

32. What kept you sane? Pedicures.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Sarah Palin. I found her interesting to follow.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? The US election was pretty fascinating ...

35. Who did you miss? Kevin. He worked too much.

36. Who was the best new person you met? My new OB/GYN.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
That once again, God's timing is always perfect and to have patience.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
That would require brain cells and mine are fried.

Hello 2009!

2009-01-02T06:37:00.000-08:00

We had a nice New Year yesterday. I spent the whole day in my Pajamas and just lounged around the house. Don't go thinking funny things like I had a hangover because the night before I laid in bed with my husband watching the ball drop. As soon as it struck midnight we watched David Tutera's wedding reality show until it turned midnight here and then it was lights out! Ha ha! We got all wild up in this house. Oh and did you see that guy on ESPN that did the motorcycle stunt at midnight? That dude is nuts! But, he did pull it off, so, yea.

Happy New Year!!

Bye, Bye 2008...

2008-12-31T08:51:00.000-08:00

This year has been a quick year. 2008 came and went in a flash!

January/February 2008 was welcomed with a positive pregnancy test where I spent the next 10 months carrying my baby girl to term. I had a delightful pregnancy and I really look back on it with admiration. I also turned 32 years young. Mr. Big turned 42 years young. The boys turned 5 and 3. Sarah was born on September 26, 2008. I became the Mom of three kids. Mr. Big still trudges along as a Financial Adviser where the stock market has taken a beating. I don't know how he's managed to feed, clothe and house our family, but with the grace of God, he has. It's been a good year from a health stand point as we've had no major health issues in our family. I am thankful for all the good will we've had bestowed upon us and all in all, 2008 was quite a year!

Tomorrow will be 2009 and while I don't make resolutions, I do make goals and I hope that this year I can become more organized, declutter our house and keep my family happy and healthy. I hope that our finances as a family improve and that our country gets back on track as well. I just pray for peace and happiness. And, I thank God for all that he has given me and my family.

Happy 2009!!!

Bronchitis Rules!

2008-12-29T11:15:00.000-08:00

I say Bronchitis rules with pure sarcasm. We've all been sick at this house. Poor Jacob has spent most of his vacation sick. I am giving it another day before I drag the crew into the ole' family doctor's office. I just dread taking all three to the office. Blah, Bah, Hum-bug! Oh, it's not Christmas anymore? Seriously... someone wake me up out of this diseased, bad dream!

To interupt my pure grouchiness... here is my sweet baby girl...

And, my favorite Christmas gift was created by my oldest baby. Isn't it lovely?

Ho-Ho-Ho!!! Christmas Eve 2008

2008-12-24T06:22:00.001-08:00

I don't know where the last year has gone. I truly don't. Life is speeding before my very eyes at such a rapid speed that I can't believe 2009 is knocking at our door.

The kids are so excited about today. Jacob has been counting down the days on a calendar he made at school. He adds a cotton ball to Santa's beard every day that goes by and he's very proud that tomorrow makes his last cotton ball. I told them this morning that if they were good all day today they could pick one present from under the tree to open tonight on Christmas Eve. The presents have conveniently been moved and rearranged with the contenders being moved to the front for viewing. Of course, Jacob has counted all the presents and knows which presents are for who with an exact count. I add more gifts under the tree at night after I wrap, just to throw him off in the mornings.

Joshua is really cute this year. We had our Christmas with Mr. Big's family last weekend and he was just adorable opening gifts. The spirit of Christmas is so innocent and sweet when you watch it unravel through the eyes of children. I just marveled at the boys this year as they opened gifts. It was fun to see them get things from their lists and even more fun to see their faces when they lit up at the sight of them. I laughed because one of Jacob's favorite gifts was a pair of New Balance tennis shoes that look a lot like a pair Mr. Big wears. He was so proud to get those shoes! Joshua was excited about all his gifts and I can't say he has a favorite one. He was just so thankful for all his gifts. It was precious!

Sarah is too little yet to understand. I can only imagine next year and the fun she will have. I am treasuring this time with her because she will be up and walking next year and I know just how quick their infanthood passes us by.

I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas! Be safe and have fun!

*I added pictures to my Flickr account from last weekend.

Dear Santa Claus,

2008-12-23T12:55:00.000-08:00

I've been very good this year AND....
All I want for Christmas is the Nikon D40. Could you also leave about a million dollars on my tree in the back yard? If not, the camera will do for now.

Thanks!

Evil Santa

2008-12-22T08:28:00.001-08:00

Have you ever just gotten one of those pictures where you child looks evil??

But......

Then you get the one where he looks angelic.....

I have!

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-18T08:21:00.000-08:00

Sarah visited Santa yesterday. This is the same Santa that her brothers have visited every year at our local mall. He is such a sweet, good Santa. I know he can't remember every family so I reminded him yesterday that we come to see him every year and sometimes bring a new addition. He was very sweet and really worked with Sarah to get a cute shot of them together. This year Joshua didn't want any part of it, but we'll take all of them back on Saturday to get a group shot.

Happy Holidays!

Dude, Where's my Energy?

2008-12-17T15:26:00.001-08:00

I wish I had some energy for all the chores and errands I need to do/run. All these late night feedings and mundane things in life just run my rear down. I don't drink caffeine normally. I'm also nursing and don't want to caffeinate the little one. So... I'll just suffer. I sure could use some more sleep!

Dear Santa... I want some energy for Christmas! Love, Aimee

Brothers

2008-12-16T08:28:00.001-08:00

Most people say how lucky Sarah is to have two big brothers. I think she's thinking, what the heck have I gotten myself into? Here are a few out takes by the tree yesterday. Joshua just can't keep his hands off of his "sissy".

*No babies were harmed while taking these pictures.

Mischief

2008-12-16T08:21:00.001-08:00

I've never hidden the fact that my three year old is a holy terror. When you look in the dictionary under the world mischief you see a picture of Josh.

Christmas Ornaments: He is utterly fascinated with the tree, much less the ornaments. The lights, the grandour, the ornaments...it's just too much to take in for his tiny head! He's broken two ornaments this year so far and the tree has been up a solid week. I'm sure there are more to come. I've walked in the living room to find him standing there rearranging ornaments with pride. I on the other hand repeat to myself "don't kill the three year old, don't kill the three year old".

Christmas decorations: How many ways can he rearrange, break, terrorize, and just man handle decorations? I lost count about five days ago when a snow globe was tossed on my tile floor defying the odds and just chipping a tiny corner of the ceramic tile. I guess I was lucky he didn't toss it at me...

Neatly wrapped presents under the tree: Or should I just cross that out and say presents with the name Joshua on the tags are now no longer neatly wrapped, but neatly destroyed? Seriously!!! I have threatened, spanked and talked him down from just about destroying them all. They have only been under there for 24 hours. Is there such thing as a hot wire for Christmas trees? Or an alarm? If so, sign me up!

Will he survive this holiday season? Stay tuned!

Some of my favorite Winter Funnies...

2008-12-08T08:36:00.000-08:00

Picking out the perfect tree...

2008-12-07T07:00:00.000-08:00

Christmas Scrapping

2008-12-05T15:43:00.001-08:00

Jacob at Deer Camp

2008-12-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

This year Jacob really enjoyed spending time down on the family property. He was old enough to sit in the stand with Daddy and see his first doe being harvested. He was thrilled beyond belief. I even came along and spent some time in the stand (one night). I can't believe how big my son is growing. He can even hold his little sister while I get stuff done.