Thursday, August 16, 2007

I was awakened by a Redneck...

Monday morning I was woken up by my door bell at 7:30am. I laid there a minute and thought I must be hearing things. Sure enough the door bell rang again this time in an emergency type pattern that would wake a deaf man up from slumber. I got up on two feet and barrelled with arms by my side in fists to the front door. I messed with the locks and the chains and I slammed the front door open and declared with teeth clinched "Can I help you?".

There stood about a 70 year old redneck in full attire, boots, cowboy hat, old man Wranglers and dip in cheek. He had my newspaper and handed it to me along with court papers from the J.P.'s office. He thought he was slick, let me tell you.

I took the papers, the pen and I read the outside of the envelope he was asking me to sign for.

Then I discovered that he was at the WRONG ADDRESS!!!!!

Oh, Goodness, I think my teeth clinched so tight I was going to need dentures. I slammed the paperwork into his chest and told him that this was **** and not ****. He gave that redneck chuckle that only a redneck could give and told me...

"Atleast you got a newspaper out of it".

Uh, Yea and you got the door slammed in your face, Redneck. And, Would you please learn to read and wear your damn glasses when you are serving people at 7 in the effin' morning. Jesus!

3 comments:

Jess T said...

Oh my gosh! That is so funny! I would have ripped his face off. I am NOT a morning person at all.

Melissa said...

That is so funny Aimee!! I so wish I could have seen that. I think I would have chucked the paper back at him. lol To FUNNY! Sorry for the early wake up ring. HUGS. =)

Love ya Aimee...you are Awesome.

Tiburon said...

Oh man! So that is how they wake people up in Texas! I have been wondering :)