One of my fears of having another baby is the high risk pregnancy part of it all. I fear that I will be on bedrest and have another preterm NICU baby. I guess the most feared part is the NICU part. The bedrest I can deal with. I have a wonderful support system (My parents and Mr. Big) to help with the two other kiddos while I'm cooking the third in utero.
My ideal birth would be to have the baby by cesarean, room in with the baby afterwards with no complications such as PIH, Hypertension, Preterm, Lung issues, etc. AND have a great nursing relationship from the get-go. Reading Amy's blog made me realize that certain fears are surfacing more and more as July nears and we try to get pregnant again. I've talked about this "third baby" since we found out we were having another son, but reality hits as the months draw closer to an actual pregnancy. We're wishing for quick success (like with Josh), but I honestly fear pregnancy and what is to come. I know in the end that the goal is all the same a healthy, newborn baby. How we get there is just a complicated matter for us. We're not your normal run of the mill reproducers here.
As the months draw near and the time draws close, I pray that things will go smoothly and I will have that ideal, dream conception, delivery and after. We'll see I guess. Atleast I can tell each of my children their each individual story of how they came into this world and what they put us through. I think they'll enjoy hearing about it. For me, it made them who they are and each of their personalities reflect a little piece of them in utero and after.
Jacob is my live wire. Josh is my sweet, fighter. I can't wait to find out what the third baby will bring to the table. Whatever it is, I'm fighting my fears as time draws near and I play my hand.
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I share some of your same fears. I also had a NICU baby and a preterm birth with the first and complications with a csection with my second. I told my husband we could start for a third when my baby was 14 months old, which is this month and I am torn, don't know if I want to go through that scariness again. I pray it all works out smoothly for you next time.
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