Sorrow

My Sister in Law had a miscarriage this weekend. We didn't even know she was pregnant until we got the call that she had been admitted into the hospital. We came to find out that she was 10.5 weeks along and was going to tell us about her pregnancy on February 9th, her husband's birthday, when she was nearing the 2nd trimester. She went in on Monday for a routine OB appointment and they couldn't find a heartbeat on the ultrasound. The doctor left it up to them to see if she would miscarry herself and sure enough by Friday she was bleeding profusely and had to be admitted for an emergency D&C.

I can't get her off of my mind. It just reverts me back to the low spot I was at during our infertile days. I am in the two week wait on an injectible IUI cycle for myself and I wonder that if I am pregnant how will I tell her. I am just devasted for her and her husband. I know she wanted another baby more than anything and she has discussed her desire for one more baby. I'm deflated and sad for them. She told me that this baby was not planned and that she is struggling right now with the thoughts of maybe she is too old (35 is hardly old) to have another.

Sometimes life doesn't make sense and I struggle with finding the answers. I'm leaving this one to God and just going with the fact that he does everything for a reason and maybe that baby was meant to be an angel in heaven just like the babies that I miscarried.