Wednesday, October 15, 2008

How Old is too Old?

My last post leads me to this question for my readers...

Mr. Big's number one defense against having another child is his age (42). If we waited 2-3 years to try to get pregnant he could be 45 to 46 depending on how long it took us to conceive and when I delivered the baby. So, what do you feel is too old to have a child? It seems to me that today's generation is older having children. People are putting their careers first and then starting their families later. We have couple friends that are in their 40's (even the woman) that are just now starting families. I am 32 and would be 35ish in that time frame. So... you tell me... how old is too old to have children?

10 comments:

liz smith said...

I knew a couple who were 48 and 49 when they had numbers one and two (twins). I have a friend who was 39 and her husband 54 when they had their last; #3.

Its not so much about age as energy and ability to care for more. Give it time and see how you feel.

Know that the infertility will likey get harder as you both get older. But other than that its your decision.

Safire said...

Seeing things from the kid's point of view: My DH is the baby of his family. His mom was 38 and his dad was 40 when they had him. While it worked out fine, his parents are old now and our children are very young. I do not thing that our children will know them as grandparents. Who knows, as they could live until they are 90, but still...I don't think they enjoy the grandkids as much as my parents do and can. Just my 2 cents.

andria said...

When you hit menopause you're too old.

I think it's all in what you personally want to take on. I worked in my twenties, married at 30, had my first at 32, second at 36, and last at 38. My friend, though, had her last at 46 (BIG surprise). She is now 52 and has more energy than I do.

My uncle had a child when he was 50 and remarried a younger woman (she was 38 at that time) and even though he didn't want anymore kids (he has two older than me) his youngest has been a blessing because with the oldest two he worked so much and missed so much and being older his career was established and he had more time to work with and eventually he retired early and has been able to vacation and just be there for his kid.

Chris said...

I dont really think age is a factor. I mean it is because after so much time your eggs just won't work.....lol I thinkl you will both KNOW and KNOW you KNOW it is time to stop :-) If you want another then GO FOR IT! I will cheer you on all over again!!!

Jen Taurus said...

Personally, 35 was the max for me. I almost hypervenlate thinking about being 40 and going to preschool. I did my time with daycare and diapers. I coudln't get pregnant again and I was fine with just having one.

I was born to a 40 year old mom and it wasn't so great! So, this is the main reason why I think 40 is not the right age for me.

Virginia said...

Steve and I mentally have it that when Steve's 45, we'll quit. So now he's 41, so 4 more years to squeeze in one or two more... I'll only be 28 when he's 45! Haha, shhhh!

Ninotchka said...

I don't think you can put an age on it either. I think you just have to decide as a couple what your limit is. 50+ is the threshold for us & since I don't plan on getting pregnant ANY time within the next year and some change, the decision is made. We're done, grateful for the 3 fabulous girls we have (plus Guy's first daughter & her little family - seriously, our cup runneth over)and so we're ready to move on with our lives. I agree with the commenter who said it really is too early too tell for you guys yet but as far as I'm concerned, you have plenty of time for a fourth! ha ha I know, I'm no help. :)

Good discussion you've got going here.

Pam said...

I agree, you are too old when you hit menapause. Seriously. I have a friend who had her first at 40, second at 42 and her H is at least 10 years older than her. My mom was 37 when she had me and that was back in 71. I have noticed at DS's daycare, most parents are about our age or older. Yes, there are some young parents, but most look to be our age-37 and 42. It's just about what you guys want. In my opionion, you guys still have lots of time.

BiBi said...

My mom stopped at 30 because the nurses would tell nonsense everytime she had an appt.
I was actually telling DH that I would like to wait 'til I am 30 or more to have our other 2 kids ;)

Tiburon said...

Do you know why Mormon women stop having children at 35?

Because 36 is too many! ;)